February 2011
3 posts
“Man on the bus has dreadlocks AND a top hat. As you do.”
“I’m sure the _____’s on my bus are really nice people, but I wish...”
“There is a crazy lady on the bus. She is carrying out a full conversation with...”
January 2011
2 posts
“Thanks to the Asian student who sneezed on me as he sat down behind me on the...”
“Every single other seat on this bus is vacant, why do you have to sit on the one...”
December 2010
2 posts
“Serious IQ deficiencies on the bus this morning. Possibly some circular family...”
“Bus smells odd. Like a mixture of vinegar and superglue. I blame the old people.”
November 2010
4 posts
“For some stupid reason the bus is moving at walking pace forcing all other...”
“If we only learn one thing from public transport, it must be that some people...”
“The town weirdo is on the bus, I know he’s probably just screwed in the...”
“Dear passenger, the bus driver does not want to hear your life story, nor do I....”
October 2010
13 posts
“I think she’s doing it because she can see that it’s irritating...”
“Hooded singlets do not make you look cool, they make you look like a moron. As...”
“Two bogan women just exited the bus with ciggies hanging from their mouths ready...”
“To the guy (same one as the other day) talking to everyone like he’s their...”
“Bus driver got lost. Genius.”
“To the guy sitting behind me who is talking to/at random people like they are...”
“Fuck me. Turns out they didn’t want this bus anyway. They’ve just...”
“Tempted to clap (sarcastically) the two old guys when they eventually get on,...”
“Sigh. Now the bus is going back for the stupid old people. All the international...”
“Silly old people, signaling for the bus after it’s already driven past...”
“Super. This bus smells like it’s been dipped in urine… and the...”
Overheard
Some lovely people get on my bus.
1: Are we going to your chemist first? 2: (unintelligible mumbles) 1: We’re early, they might not be open yet, it’s only 8am 2: (unintelligible mumbles) 1: Mine should be open 2: Yeah 1: They have all the pick-ups packaged ready-to-go…
Oh I geddit… chemist == drug dealer. Now it makes more sense, couldn’t work out why they each had...
“The smelly moron bogan collective seem to be holding a meeting on this bus. I,...”
September 2010
9 posts
“Bus has been graced with the presence of an epic comb-over. Goes from right ear...”
“Dude on the bus just had his phone pointed directly at me like he was taking my...”
“Dear feral bogans on this bus, I’d like you all to die, or alternatively...”
“Look at me. Now look at yourself. Now back to me. Now back to you. Back to me....”
“A bearded lady just walked past the bus. Shouldn’t laugh, but she did have...”
“There are zombies in Adamstown, no seriously there are, they had the blood...”
“I’m on a bus. It is empty. Hopefully it stays that way, at least the...”
“Girl with dreadlocks looks like she prepared them carefully. Guy with dreadlocks...”
“Congratulations public transport user you’ve got a mobile phone. Now if...”
August 2010
8 posts
“Fat people should not sit two to a seat on a mostly empty bus, their...”
“Massively obese guy standing at the bus stop wearing a shirt that says “no...”
“Sitting next to garlic disguised as an international student. May throw up.”
“Tweedledumb is sitting next to me, has been ‘talking’ to no one for...”
“Guy on the bus would be really popular if he were female, thin and/or...”
“There is an albino on my bus… either that or he’s got Benjamin...”
“I think Mrs Doubtfire is in “man mode”, she is wearing an all blue...”
“Having to share an half hour bus ride at 7:30am with 20 loud, drunk Uni students...”
July 2010
22 posts
“Girl at front of the bus is sitting sideways in yet seat, rocking back and...”
“Guy at the back of the bus is talking to himself, coughing, moaning, groaning,...”
“Guy on bus has some level of vision impairment, I’ve seen him with a cane...”
That was a first. Two actually.
I’ve been catching buses frequently in this town for the best part of seven years, but on today’s trip home I experienced two things that I’ve never had (nor really wanted) to experience before.
To begin with the bus seems to have become the meeting place for the “full-retard teenage collective”, there were about a dozen of them, some still in school uniform, some...
“Girl is painting her fingernails on the bus. Everyone is getting high on the...”
“To the unshaven man wearing his hair inside a really nasty beanie/sock, I can...”
“Speaking of odd, a woman just got on the bus and she looks like Mrs Doubtfire....”
“It’s a valid concern that the day that school holidays end is also the day...”
Tech talk, bogan style
I should also clarify that this was a conversation between a mother and her young son. And that the word ‘fuck’ was also interspersed into the mother’s side of the conversation.
Have you got this song (playing loudly from shitty mobile phone speaker)?
Nah, can ya bluetooth it to me, ah, wait… me SD card only holds three songs, I’ll have to delete one first
...